


Bonus: Between Seasons 2 and 3

by PseudoLeigha



Series: (More) 2AM Conversations [30]
Category: Leverage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:24:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6641350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PseudoLeigha/pseuds/PseudoLeigha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By request for Loudmouse (ff.net): Parker breaks into jail to talk to Nate about his abandoning the team by getting (and staying) arrested.</p><p>Angst. Emotional growth for Parker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonus: Between Seasons 2 and 3

Two months was long enough for the heat to die down, long enough for Hardison, between all his other work, to systematically sabotage Interpol’s files on them, along with the FBI and the CIA and all the other agencies with letters. He called it a working holiday, but they all knew he enjoyed the challenge. Two months was long enough for Laura to tie up the loose ends back in France, and create a rock-solid reporter alias that could visit Nate in prison and attend the trials in person.

Two months was long enough for Parker to experience _loneliness_ for the first time, like how Eliot said Hardison felt between the two David Jobs. It was long enough for Eliot to go work a side-job for Vance, and somehow – she still wasn’t sure how – to trick Parker into admitting that she cared about all of them, even Nate, even though she was still so angry at Nate. It was even long enough to help her articulate _why_.

Two months was _not_ long enough for the justice system to try and convict Kadjik and the Mayor, or, for that matter, Nate himself.

When the team returned to Boston, Nate was still being kept in a local, medium security prison, for convenience, as he was periodically questioned or called to court. As Parker had informed Hardison, at length, ‘medium security’ meant ‘not a walk in the park, but not actually by any means secure.’

So when she had sided with Hardison and said she wasn’t sure that they should break Nate out after he finished putting Kadjik away, and Eliot had said that she should go and just tell Nate that, and why, and Laura had said, “No, actually, I think that’s a very good idea. It will be good for you to get it out in the open,” and they had all looked at her so expectantly (or, in Hardison’s case, in disbelief – she had been practicing faces), there had really been no excuse.

And all that was why she was sitting cross-legged on one side of a cell door in a prison that hardly deserved the name, three months after the Maltese Falcon, talking through it to Nate, whom she could hear moving on the other side like he was doing the same.

Well, not _talking_ exactly, since she hadn’t said anything yet, but close enough.

“Who’s there?” Nate asked, just loud enough to hear.

Then a few minutes later: “I can hear you breathing through the door.”

Parker rolled her eyes. He had to have his ear pressed right up against it, then. She stubbornly leaned forward so that it would seem like she left.

“Hello? Hello?”

“It’s Parker,” she finally whispered back.

“Parker?” Nate’s normal voice was like shouting in the sleeping prison.

“Shhh!”

“Sorry,” Nate whispered. “Parker?”

“Yes.”

“What are you doing here? Sophie said you didn’t want to break me out.”

 _Who? Oh, Laura_. “I don’t.”

“So what are you doing here?”

“They said – Eliot and Sophie said, that I needed to tell you why.”

“Why what?”

“Why I don’t want to break you out.”

“Oh. Why?”

“I’m mad at you, Nate.”

“Wh – why?”

“It took me a long time to figure it out, but I think I’ve got it, now.”

“O… _kay_ …?”

“You said we were family, Nate. And then you _left_ us. You could have escaped if you wanted to. You’ve been shot before. We could’ve run. We all could have gotten away. Scattered. You should’ve told us what Sterling had on us. We’re thieves. I’ve spent twenty _years_ running from the cops! You said you had a plan to get us _all_ out, and we believed you, because you’re _Nate_ , and you _lied to us_ , even though you said you don’t con your team, and then you lied _again_ because you said we were your family, and you still let them take you!” She could feel tears in her eyes, and her shoulders were shaking against the door, her breathing growing ragged. She hated feeling things, almost as much as she hated Nate for making her.

“Parker?” Three seconds. “Parker, are you crying?”

“No!”

“Parker, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay! Because you didn’t just get taken away, you _left_ – you don’t want Eliot and L-Sophie to break you out, anyway. You never wanted us, and we forced ourselves on you, and now you’re finally getting away, but you said we were family, first, and now – and now,” she had to stop talking, because she couldn’t breathe well enough to keep whispering.

“Parker, are you okay?”

“No, I am _not_ okay, because you said we were family, and now you don’t want us anymore! You _abandoned_ us, Nate. You abandoned me. You still are, again and again, every time you say you don’t want us to plan anything – and I _hate_ it, and I hate feeling it, and I hate you, and I want you to just stay here forever, since you’d obviously rather do that than come home to us.”

“I – I’m sorry. Parker, I’m _sorry_. I didn’t mean – I never meant…”

“No. You did. You’re worse than Danny. At least he got _taken_ away. You _chose_ to leave, and you _keep_ choosing it, over and over, and it hurts the same every time!” She was well and truly crying, now.

“I didn’t Parker – I swear! Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. It’s not – it’s not about you, any of you. Or, it is, but, please, don’t cry. I gave myself up so you four could all be happy and free and live your own lives. Not to make you miserable.”

“Well, you did.” _Deep breaths, Parker,_ she whispered to herself with Laura’s voice.

“It’s – it’s about _responsibility_ , Parker. I have a responsibility to the team, as the leader, to look out for you all, especially since I was the one who, well… went out of control and got all of us in the hole to start with. And I have a responsibility to society, to pay for my crimes. Our crimes.”

“But how does sitting in jail pay for _anything_?” Sniffle.

“It’s – I can’t explain it, Parker. People want someone punished.”

“But that’s what _we_ do. _We_ punish the bad guys. And you can’t do that in here.”

“I can – I am. I’m going to finish putting Kadjik away.”

“And after that?” Sniffle.

“I – Parker… I’m a thief. I admitted it to myself, finally. That means I’m one of the bad guys, too. And the law has every right to punish me for the things we’ve done. And I believe that, so I’ll let them.”

“Hardison is destroying Sterling’s evidence. You don’t have to stay here.”

“I – I really do, Parker. Not just because of Sterling. I – I know you don’t understand, and I’m sorry, and I don’t want to leave you, but I –”

“I get it,” she said quietly, breath finally back under control. “I do. Goodbye, Nate.”

“Parker?”

And then she left. Because she did understand. If he wasn’t staying in jail because of Sterling’s threats, and he wasn’t staying because he was abandoning them, there was only one explanation: Nate was a thief. He knew he was a thief – a bad man. But he was still a good man, too, and the good man in him wanted to see people like Nate Ford and Leverage punished, because that’s what they thought was supposed to happen to bad men. He was breaking himself because one part of him hated another, and everything he tried to do as a bad man to do good things had only made it worse, so now he was trying to be a good man and admit he’d done bad things to try and fix it.

And all of _that_ meant she had to help Sophie and Eliot, because if Nate – _their_ Nate – wasn’t abandoning them, they couldn’t abandon him, either. As soon as Kadjik’s trial was over, she would help save him from Evil, thinks-he’s-good-but-really-isn’t-helping-anyone Nate.

And she did feel a little better, after crying at him. Maybe Laura was onto something with this whole acknowledging emotions thing.


End file.
